I'm writing about a film that I didn’t finish watching. I think of the utter and complete tosh that I've managed to sit through in my life and realise just how special this film, Cowboys and Aliens, is. I mean, I've finished Spiderman 3, Catwoman and Batman and Robin. The latter was so bad that the director, Joel Schumacher apologised for the film – yet I've watched that film many times.
The only other film that I abandoned midway was You’ve Got
Mail in 1998. My uncle took me, my sisters and our cousins to see that film. I
was so mystified by how bad that film was that I walked out and spent half an
hour in the arcade.
But Cowboys and Aliens is different, this Jon Favreau joint should have been a good, if nothing else, fun film.
…
The warning signs were there from the very beginning –
Daniel Craig scowled far too much and Mr Ford played the grumpy old man too
well for my liking. I found myself getting angry at Daniel Craig for playing
his character just as he would Bond and that isn’t what I signed up to watch.
But
for me it was Sam Rockwell’s character which indexed the very reason why this
film didn’t work. I assume that Rockwell’s Doc was supposed to be the comedy
relief of this piece and that relief never materialised. I felt for Rockwell in
this film because given the right material he is a fantastic actor, but you get
the impression that he and the film itself was just weighed down by a need to
be taken seriously.
…
The blame for the faults of this film has to be put on the
door of the director. Jon Favreau should have known better – why on earth he
thought this film should be a straight and serious movie is beyond me. The
title and premise is Cowboys and Aliens for crying out loud.
You honestly wouldn’t be able to tell that this film is
related to Iron Man, Elf, Zathura and (little gem of a film) Made. You couldn’t even tell that it was
a second cousin of Swingers.
This film should have been light, fast moving and silly –
but it plods along at an excruciatingly slow pace. This film should have been bogged down with stupid jokes, not tired western-film cliches.
…
At the end of the day it comes down to me losing my
patience, something that I rarely do when it comes to films.
The hour that I
watched of this film didn’t intrigue me or give me sufficient reason to hang on
beside my better judgement – many films have made me make that poor decision.
Not only is Cowboys and Aliens a bad film (I can handle and
enjoy bad films), it is a disappointing film that feels very lazy and that is
something I cannot stomach.
As an aside, this film made me appreciate the much panned Wild
Wild West. WWW and its stars knew that the films was ridiculous.
Ridiculous is fun to watch. Ridiculousness is an ingredient that this film sorely needed.
