Tom Cruise: The Great

While watching Oblivion, I found out some very interesting information from my other half. “Do you know that Tom Cruise made Katie Holmes have a baby in silence?” Truth is, I didn’t know that. I accepted my lady’s premise that, if true, this was cruel. Even if that was the case I failed, and still fail, to see why I should care and why that should influence my feelings on Oblivion.


For the record, Oblivion is a good film – not spectacular, just good. It’s a comfort blanket of a film. Nothing about the film is remotely surprising, whether it be negative or positive. Most importantly, Tom Cruise is his usual competent and reliable Hollywood superstar self. But the way my missus made it sound, that just isn’t enough anymore.

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In fact, it isn’t just the missus who has beef with Tom, have a look the public discussions about Mr Cruise for the past decade, I wager the majority of it has little to do with his on screen exploits and more to do with what religion he follows.

I get that people want to read about Tom’s big bad thugs spying on Katie or a woman who says she was auditioned to be his wife – all of this is sexy tabloid stuff and is to be expected when you have reached the status Cruise has. It no longer holds people’s attention to just be good at your job, they want something more interesting and Tom Cruise’s personal life is just that… apparently.

The press are doing to Tom Cruise exactly the same as what they did to Michael Jackson. They are trying to find the Wacko in Cruise and as soon as he got on top of that famous black lady’s sofa, they had their fodder.


It also doesn’t help that Cruise hasn’t had the greatest of film runs after that PDA moment – Lions for Lamb, Valkyrie, Knight and Day and Rock of Ages are beneath his talents. But putting these films to one side, Tom Cruise still has a stellar filmography post his jumping the Oprah shaped shark. World at War, Mission Impossible 3 and 4, Tropic Thunder, Jack Reacher and the aforementioned Oblivion are not slouch movies, but they don’t stretch Cruise’s acting muscles either. But, again, what is wrong with that? Hasn’t Tom Cruise earned his right to just be good instead of being great?


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It is actually shocking when you list the great films and performances Tom Cruise has under his belt. You almost have to double check to see whether you have it right or whether you are thinking about another actor.


This guy has Risky Business, Top Gun, Rain Man and Born on the Fourth of July on his CV. After this he goes on to make his equivalent to Michael’s Thriller, Beat it and Billie Jean moment with the films A Few Good Men, The Firm and Interview with a Vampire. He doesn’t stop there, after that hot streak he goes on to make Mission Impossible, Jerry Maguire, Eyes Wide Shut and Magnolia. Admittedly after Magnolia his luck ends – if there is anyone on this earth that likes Vanilla Sky, please contact me and let me know why. He does get back on track with the fantastic Minority Report ( a truly wonderful film), the underrated The Last Samurai and a film which keeps getting better with every watch, Collateral.

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Collateral is one of the most interesting films in Cruise’s catalogue. It once again shatters the perception that Cruise has one gear as an actor and never takes risks. Like Interview with a Vampire and Magnolia and to a certain extent Rock of Ages, Collateral sees Tom Cruise play against type and to frightening effect.

I am genuinely scared of Cruise’s Vincent and that is a great compliment to an actor who I know is shorter than me and isn’t that physically imposing. You watch that film expecting Mr Cruise to be as charming and charismatic as always, which he is but it is soured by a neck chilling menace which never escapes you from the moment he’s on screen to the moment he takes his last train ride.

I think there is a deep intelligence to his role in Collateral. It is one thing to play a villainous vampire with a cake load of make up on your face and fake teeth, but to convince a world that knows you as the all-conquering hero and Mr Action Man that you are a bad motherf**ker takes a very talented actor indeed. Not many high status leading men in Hollywood can do it – Will Smith, for example, hasn’t showed nearly as much versatility as Cruise.

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Do I think Tom Cruise is nuts? Maybe, 
but he’s religious, being nuts comes with the territory? I can’t prove any of the crazy ass stories about his personal life and truth be told, I don’t care. All I know is that Tom Cruise is one of the greatest actors of my life time. I know that to be fact.


Tom Cruise has shown breath taking consistency as an actor, consistency that only few working actors share. A Few Good Men, Collateral and especially Minority Report are some of my favourite films of all time and Cruise was a big reason why I enjoyed those films.

It took the death of Michael Jackson for people to look at his work and ignore his personal life. What people found was, despite his quirkiness (mildly putting it), Jackson was a genius. I hope it doesn't take such an extreme event for people to see the same in Tom Cruise.


                     Mission Bear

Piss and Horror

I was put in a really embarrassing situation on Twitter a while back when Malcolm Khalil X/@KhalilHT3 (god, I hope that’s his real name) asked me what was the last horror film which really scared me.

Truth is, I’m not a big horror fan and there are many reasons for this. One is because I hate surprises. Ask anyone who knows me personally; I hate not knowing things before they happen. I hate birthdays/Christmas, because people hide presents from me and have a perverse need to see my reaction when I open their gifts. I hate it so much. You have no idea how many times I’ve had to exaggerate or down-right lie after I’ve opened a gift. And on the rare occasion when someone surprises me with something that moves me emotionally – I hate it more. I hate being speechless, or worse, crying in front of people. I’m not that guy.

Bringing it back to films a little bit – the hatred of surprises is also why I ruin a lot of films for myself by seeking out spoilers before I see them. Yes, I’m that guy that must watch every trailer, comb every forum for every little secret piece of information before I pay the extortionate amount of money in the cinema. And I accept that this tendency has ruined many films for me. For example, I’ve recently read a full blown description of what happens in the new Star Trek film.

And it’s this need to never be shocked, to never be left emotionally venerable that has caused me to not have the greatest relationship with horror films.

But it has never always been that way.

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The first real horror film I ever saw was Michael Jackson’s Thriller – and yes, I’m counting it as an actual film. I loved it, I thought it was cool and I thought the zombies were creepy. But when the zombies started to get to me, which was about the point when the dudes hand fell off, they broke out into a line dance. So, yeh.

My reaction to Thriller was very different to many in my family. My little sister, who is five years younger than me, was so disturbed by it that she refused to watch it every again. I used to tease her by unsuspectingly putting the film on and it used to reduce her to tears (don’t judge me).

This brings me on nicely to another horror film that made an impression on me.

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Once upon a time, my other little sister (only a year younger) was having a sleepover and, for some reason, I was in charge of what films she and her friends got to watch. All she specified was “something scary”. So together with my dad, we went to Blockbusters and hired The Exorcist (god bless my father).

I remember watching that film with my two sisters and their friends (like a pimp) and thinking how boring it was. In fact, a lot of their friends were also complaining about how nothing was happening. Until Linda Blair pissed herself.

After that point, I can’t remember my sister or her friends saying a mumbling word. Just jumping and screaming. After the sleepover, my youngest sister was so affected by the film that she demanded to sleep in my parent room for about a month or so (My other sister crept in for a couple of days as well). I laughed this off – but the hiding I got from my dad after watching that film suggested that it wasn’t a joke (note, he was there with me when I picked the film).

If I was honest with myself, that film messed me up as well. The imagery in The Exorcist may be tame by today’s standards but to an early teen it was pretty piss-inducing stuff. In fact, for me, the more I watch that film with adult eyes, the scarier it gets. There is an actual fathomable story and theme behind that film to support its iconic imagery – and I find that story ridiculous scary.

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Perversely, the older I and my sisters got the more scary films we consumed. With that said, after The Exorcist, the only “horror” film I enjoyed was Interview with the Vampire. I found horror films of the late 2000s to be nothing more than husk vehicles with no point to them other than to surprise you, make you jump and squirm. And I hate that.

I find the Scream, Saw and Paranormal Activity franchise to be utterly pointless. I don’t get them, I don’t understand them and they don’t get under my skin like The Exorcist did.

I appreciate that maybe horror films are not my bag and that I don’t understand them. It also may very well be the case that I am a huge (censor) sissy who doesn’t have the testicular fortitude to stand his ground during such films. I accept that this maybe the case. I tried to watch Shutter Island, but as soon as I saw that scary old lady at the start, I switched the film off.

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I really would love to learn more about horror films. I’d love an enthusiast to show me the soul behind what I feel is a very soulless genre of late. But I fear that horror films are just like those people that want to catch me out by surprising with a gift – but instead of making me smile, they want to see me piss myself.

                                    @chocoteddyfilms